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File Two Productions

Vague Rant Productions

Donkey Kong Universe
Henry Kissinger

Former National Security Advisor and Secretary of State to President Richard Nixon, Henry Kissinger held a dark secret: Both he and Nixon were actually Grays, evolved squirrel creatures from an alternate world bent on dominating the Earth through Realpolitik.

Following Nixon resigning from office due to the Watergate scandal, Kissinger spent most of his free time managing duties in a Gray spacecraft. In 1977, he and Nixon personally oversaw the abduction of rock star Elvis. The plan was to slowly brainwash Elvis into serving the Grays, then return him to Earth years later. They would allow the public to believe that he had risen from the dead, proving him to be the true Messiah of mankind and snookering humanity into being passive slaves of the Grays.

All was going fine until Elvis managed to escape to Denton, Texas before his brainwashing was complete. Since he no longer had a tracking chip inserted in his body for precision abducting, Kissinger concocted the idea of Nixon returning to Earth and serving as mayor of Denton in an attempt to get close to Elvis and reclaim him.

Whether in human disguise or as a bug-eyed alien, Henry Kissinger is always a true bastard.

Henry Kissinger is portrayed by Hyle Russell.

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