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File Two Productions

Vague Rant Productions

Donkey Kong Universe
Jeff Goldblum

Jeff Goldblum was a box-office powerhouse without rival. While most would kill to be in that position, being the biggest star in the world does have its drawbacks. Being enveloped by a beam of energy and spliced with a man-fly is one of them.

Goldblum, a well-known albino squirrel activist, had been the special guest at a charity gala when, through an act of sabotage, Slick's "telepod" malfunctioned and sucked the actor into the faulty machine. While initially believed to have gone missing, Goldblum's DNA was safely stashed away in Slick's body... and it was quickly manifesting itself.

As Slick found himself fading away as the stronger Goldblum genes took over, he raced to find a cure. Ironically, it was only until Goldblum's intelligent brainwaves starting seeping through that he was able to figure out how to solve the problem. With the "telepod" working properly, he targeted the Goldblum DNA and removed it through a wormhole to Garth.

Jeff Goldblum was himself again, just in time to be eaten by a giant spider. The world would never see the remarkable likes of him again.

Jeff Goldblum is portrayed by Matthew Muhl.

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