Episode Guide




File Two Productions

Vague Rant Productions

Donkey Kong Universe
102: The Big Sexy Sex Episode of Sex

Original Airdate: May 2, 2005

It was a lovely Sunday morning and, being the heathens that they are, Elvis and Slick Monty were attending the holy congregation that is the grocery store. Gluttonous Elvis wanted to get peanut butter to make his "peanut butter and bananer sammiches," but Slick (ever mindful of the Seven Deadly Sins) wanted to go the more health-conscious route of buying ocra. While arguing this, Elvis stumbled across a female shopper by the name of Diane Buttercup. Elvis was immediately smitten by her and with his confidence inadvertently built up by Slick, he decided to approach her. Though his bumbling attempts at conversation were laughable, Diane had been out with worse recently and agreed to go out on a date with him later that evening. It would be all fine and dandy, except Elvis hadn't been out on a date in three weeks. How would somebody so rusty with their social skills be able to woo her into bed before the night was over?

When they got back to the apartment, Elvis' nerves were getting the better of him. He kept asking Slick for dating advice, but poor Slick had none. He himself was having a personal crisis: Lisa, the girl across the street he was attracted to, was getting engaged. Luckily for Elvis, a true ladies man entered the scene. Doctor Leon burst into their apartment for props and congratulatories, announcing that he just had sex with Lisa. Elvis was curious how Doctor Leon got her to do the deed. Doctor Leon informed him that he made her unconcious with his ether rag. Elvis, not wanting to rape anyone (or not knowing what ether was) decided he needed to go meet somebody downtown for woman advice. As he left, Doctor Leon stayed around to play with some peanut butter.

Downtown at Mayor Richard Nixon's office, Nixon was having a make-believe stand-off with Mahatma Ghandi. Just as he was about to pump a picture of the great pacifist with several high-powered bullets, his saucy secretary Tina came over the intercom to tell him that Elvis was there to see him. Nixon told her to bring him in (as he quickly changed the tape on his recording device). The two old friends hugged and, after some pleasantries, Elvis got to the point... how he could nail his date. Nixon told him that he had been with thousands of women in his day, and it was all thanks to a little something called Spanish Fly. Elvis was a bit surprised to hear "spanish fly" actually worked, but Nixon assured him it did the trick. Oh, the classic misunderstandings of television.

That night at the fancy French restaurant Pommes Frites de Liberté, Elvis showed up... with Slick. Yes, he had dressed Slick up as a "spanish fly," complete with sombrero and poncho. Slick was very uncomfortable and confused as to why he was with him on his date dressed like that, but hey, he was a good friend. Diane was less supportive of Elvis' bizarre decision though, and spend the entire date trying to make sense of why Elvis' hispanic peasant fly friend was with him. Finally, she had had enough and got up to leave. Elvis was crushed that he didn't get to bone her (after all, he had brought a spanish fly!), and Slick could see the hurt in his friend's eyes. Getting up from the table, he stopped Diane just before she left the restaurant. He did his best to explain to her why Elvis brought him along, telling her that he thought that if he brought him along dressed as a Mexican peasant, she would be more attracted to him. Diane was very touched by Elvis' heartfelt, if misguided, gesture, and took him by the hand to the restrooms for some public intercourse. As Piggles the Waiter brought the wine, Slick decided to relax. Seconds later, Elvis came back out from the restrooms, proudly informing Slick that he "king of rocked her world." Suddenly, a great burning sensation erupted in his loins, and Elvis fell to the ground in pain. What happened? Well, as Richard Nixon informed us (popping up from underneath the table), Diane Buttercup gave Elvis a nasty STD. Amen.


Erik Klein as Elvis
Greg Janda as S'Larik del Monte (Slick Monty)
Branden Finney as Doctor Leon

Mariola Schmid as Diane Buttercup
Chad McCanna as Richard Nixon
Jimmy McCoy as Piggles the Waiter
Shannon McConathy as Tina

Executive Producers .... Chad McCanna and Hyle Russell
Created by .... Hyle Russell and Chad McCanna
Faculty Advisor .... Phyllis Slocum
Director .... Chad McCanna
Head Writer .... Hyle Russell
Additional Writing .... Chad McCanna
Camera .... Chad McCanna, Eric Clark, Jeff Stebbins, and Dan Grunewald
Boom Operator .... Dan Grunewald and Michael Garcia
Editor .... Chad McCanna
"A Friend at the End" Vocals .... Cederick Johnson
Special Thanks .... Jeremy Thorn and 7-11 and University of North Texas Union
Apartment Provided by .... CityParc Apartments

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