Episode Guide




File Two Productions

Vague Rant Productions

Donkey Kong Universe
204: The Puppet Masters

Original Airdate: June 12, 2006

Elvis and Diane were in the midst of wasting away their day, although not for lack of trying otherwise on Diane's part. All Elvis wanted to do was lounge around the apartment so that he could stay near the recently-terminated Slick in his hour of need. Slick, however, had left the apartment some time earlier to take a sad stroll through the park. It was here that he met Edgar Juglan, a man that appeared to be a referee. He was, in actuality, an escaped asylum patient. Throwing his dummy, Charlie, at Slick, he ran off in maniacal madness. Slick suddenly had a reason to live again: Ventriloquism!

Upon returning home, Slick was surprised to find Elvis had found yet another reason for him to live. Using the "telepod," he had journeyed to Garth to retrieve Slick's favorite cousin Kirk. Slick was more than happy to see him, while Kirk had to feign as much similar enthusiasm as he could muster. The truth of the matter was that Kirk hadn't journeyed to Earth to cheer his relative up, but to hide from the Garthling police due to the accidental death of Jeff Goldblum.

Elvis had taken an immediate liking to the new man-fly, which pleased Diane greatly. Before they could go play a rousing game of football in the park, however, Mr. Summers called with a dire message. "I've been raped." Arriving at Shake it Up, Elvis and Kirk came to his rescue only to discover there had been a miscommunication. Silvan hadn't been raped... he had been graped. As in fed a grape, a food he was allergic to. The culprit was Edgar Juglan, who Silvan had hired because he thought he was already wearing a referee uniform. Currently, Juglan was torturing Joey Bagwell (now adorned with a neck brace from whacking himself with his own cane) with a can of nuts. Kirk, football in hand, stepped in for the save and walloped the mental patient upside his head. Silvan was pleased but confused. Under the impression that this man-fly was Slick (and believing he looked differently because of grape juice in his own eyes), he "rehired" him with a fifty cent raise. Kirk gladly took the job, inviting both Silvan and Joey to join them in the park to play some football in celebration.

Once the teams were fairly made (Kirk, Elvis, and Silvan versus Joey), the game began. However, it was quickly interrupted when Silvan fell through a hedge right in the middle of Mayor Nixon's lunch. Nixon wasted no time in launching into a series of abstract threats. As it so happened, he had bugged the grapes fed to Silvan earlier in the day and overhead him rehiring who he thought was Slick. This was not acceptable. Since Silvan could not be relied on to keep Slick away from Elvis, he would now have to literally terminate the man-fly.

Over yonder at a tree, the real Slick was affixing a flier for his inaugural ventriloquism show with his new dummy, now renamed Montague. Silvan stumbled over, thinking Slick had quickly shed his new ref clothing. Striking up a conversation, Slick revealed his plans. This inspired an idea in Silvan's scheming mind. If he could film this puppet show and fake Slick's death, he would be able to prove to Nixon that he did actually do the deed! Taking the dummy from Slick, in the name of cleaning it up before the show, Silvan strolled away...

...and over walked Kirk. When Slick saw Kirk wearing a referee uniform, he snapped, realizing that Kirk was never his buddy. Kirk explained to him through a weak sports analogy that his competitive relationship with him was never personal, but it did little to calm Slick's raging temper. Slick knew that he would have to use his show as an opportunity to dump Kirk back to Garth, while Kirk saw it as a chance to get Slick evicted from his apartment so that he could take it for himself.

Meanwhile, Joey was tackled to the ground. This comically snapped his spinal cord!

That night, the three plans were set. Slick would pretend to do a magic trick in his show where Kirk would be his volunteer and the "telepod" would be a box that would make him disappear. Kirk, with the aid of Diane, would order five prostitutes that would initiate a sexual orgy, earning the ire of the CityParc landlord and getting Slick thrown out on the street. Silvan would try to pas off the now crippled Joey as Montague, having him play along as a Trojan Horse until the right moment when he would pull out a plastic knife, pretend to stab Slick in the gut, and push him into the "telepod" to Garth.

Unfortunately, none of the machinations panned out. The whores never showed, forcing Diane to pose as a hooker for the camera. Slipping on spilled walnuts, she attempted to regain her balance just as Joey pulled out the plastic knife. Grabbing it before he could he could poke Slick with it, Diane tumbled back into the "telepod." Then, Edgar Juglan showed up. Seeing Diane in a position that resembled that of his victims was too much to take, so he immediately stabbed himself with a real knife. In hot pursuit of the fugitive, Officer Murtagh Boklovah raced into the apartment. While he didn't see Juglan himself, Kirk's black and white stripes were enough to convince him he was the man he was looking for. Kirk would indeed find a new home that night, but it would be a padded cell instead. A confused Silvan just shrugged this lunacy off and let Slick know that he could come into work on Monday morning.

After all of the turmoil was over, only Slick and Elvis (and an unconscious Joey) remained in the apartment. Slick realized that Elvis was the only one that night without an ulterior motive and the only thing he had tried to do was cheer him up. The pals shared a hug, confident that nobody would ever be able to tear them apart.

Nixon, hiding on their balcony, puffed on a cigarette, knowing this to not be the case.

Watch This Episode!


Banks Lee as Elvis
Greg Janda as S'Larik del Monte (Slick Monty)
Jeff Stebbins as Silvan Summers

Jimmy McCoy as K'Iarik del Monte (Kirk Monty)
Mark Moseley as Joey Bagwell
Mariola Schmid as Diane Buttercup
Matthew Muhl as Edgar Juglan, Anderson Tyrone, Will Vodka, New Man, and Ron the Farmer
Chad McCanna as Richard Nixon
Stacey Carter as Layme Orgasma
Sam Respess as Satan
Dan Grunewald as Officer Murtagh Boklovah
Catherine Burdette as J'Ouana del Monte (Joanna Monty)

Executive Producers .... Chad McCanna and Hyle Russell
Created by .... Hyle Russell and Chad McCanna
Faculty Advisor .... Phyllis Slocum
Director .... Chad McCanna
Head Writer .... Hyle Russell
Additional Writing .... Chad McCanna
Camera .... Chad McCanna, Brent Barron, and Jeff Stebbins
Boom Operator .... Brent Barron, Liz Bryant, Matthew Muhl, and Mark Moseley
Editing .... Chad McCanna
"A Friend at the End" Composed and Performed by .... Eric Lambert
Original Score .... Jeremy Thorn
Supplemental Music .... Eric Lambert
"The Ballad of Kirk Monty" Lyrics and Performance by .... Sam Respess
Special Thanks .... Dr. Liljana Elverskog
Apartment Provided by .... CityParc Apartments

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