Episode Guide




File Two Productions

Vague Rant Productions

Donkey Kong Universe
205: Shades of Gray

Original Airdate: October 31, 2006

A billion some odd kilometers from Earth, a silent figure watched as his vessel passed the orbit of the planet Saturn. He would soon arrive.

At that moment in time, it was the end of the day at Shake It Up... and possibly the end of the line. Silvan was wrestling with the notion of letting their contract with Crawfish Cable lapse, effectively putting an end to Silvan Summers Boxing's programming. When questioned by Slick, Silvan explained that he was tired of dealing in the small-time and that his heart desired larger things. Slick only wanted a guarantee that he would be included in Summers' future plans, but Silvan didn't seem to give a clear answer.

Across town, Elvis and Diane were out on a date, but things weren't all boxed wine and romance. Diane was in turmoil over their increasingly rocky relationship, and wanted reassurance that nobody, especially Slick, would come in their way. Elvis saw this as a great opening to talk about his favorite subject, Slick, sending Diane off in a huff. Depressed over the prospect of losing her (and losing his ride), he saw no other choice but to walk alongside the road in the middle of the night. Safety was always a priority with Elvis, even when feeling low.

Back at Shake It Up, Silvan was getting in his car when Mayor Nixon popped out from his backseat to act all cartoonishly crazy. Nixon was tired of their constant games and was ready to end it (spoiler alert: Nixon is really a mutated alien squirrel from the planet Farth and was in heavy preparations for the reabduction of Elvis, which would occur in three hours under the eye of alien Henry Kissinger). Before the trigger could be pulled, however, Joey Bagwell inadvertenly saved the day by rear-ending them (no, not through the opposite sex). This gave Silvan enough time to grab Nixon's handgun, but Tricky Dick had a spare shotgun handy. A dramatic showdown ensued, which ended with neither man shooting the other (although Joey, naturally, got a hot bullet across the cheek). Silvan, like Nixon, had also had enough of their games and was ready to end it. Logicially, the only way to do this was to challenge him to a recall election. Hoo boy.

Not taking to this news, Nixon stole Silvan's car and drove off laughing wildly in the night. It was then that he ran over a wandering Elvis, who had been en route to City Hall for the Mayor's advice anyway. Nixon was delighted to have Elvis in his grasp so easily (spoiler alert: The Grays, the aforementioned mutated alien squirrels that Nixon and Kissinger belong to, want Elvis to pose as the Messiah in order to lure Earth's population into passively becoming slaves to the Grays). The key now would be to keep him away from the meddling Slick.

The meddling Slick, though, had his interconnected fingers full when he returned to his apartment. There he was greeted by two half-man, half-albino squirrels named Tom and Pépe, both of whom let out an all-too-familiar "woooing" nice when first seeing him. As it turned out, it was their kind that were responsible for the non-stop cheering heard nine months prior (as well as the laughter, gasps, and other emotive exclamations not heard by Elvis and Slick). They immediately began to weave a tale of the alternate reality of the planet Farth, where albino and gray man-squirrels once both lived in unison. In unision, that is, until a great civil war broke out over television viewing habits. The albinos loved cheesy sitcoms while the grays went for more intellectual television comedy. It was a devestating conflict that resulted with all television studios destroyed, food sources deplinished, the gray squirrels resorting to eating the flesh of the albinos to survive and then altering their own DNA (becoming the upper-case Grays) to avoid the stigma of cannabilism. Finally, the Grays left behind Farth in order to seek out new worlds with albino squirrels that they could conquer and devour, while the albino squirrels built viewing screens that let them watch other dimensions in the hopes of finding stupid lives that closely resembled the sitcoms they loved. Eventually, they found Elvis and Slick and had to warn them of the Gray Richard Nixon's plans.

At this time, Silvan's declaration of a recall election was seeming more and more like a mistake. Kissinger had informed Nixon that he would be put in charge of Elvis' brainwashing upon abduction, meaning he would be off planet for several months and miss out on the campaign to save his office. In order to salvage this, Nixon challenged Silvan to an immediate debate at City Hall. Silvan was feeling the pressure, but history has a way of repeating itself and Nixon once again crumbled under the stress of televised political mooting. Freaking the fuck out, Nixon yanked off his none-too-convincing mask to show his true alien form to a startled audience of Silvan, Anderson Tyrone, and Will Vodka, New Guy. The latter two wouldn't be startled for long. Nixon's parting gift was piping through the trigger song that would activate his "sleeper agents," i.e. the clones that he had integrated into society as babies (spoiler alert: Every character Matt Muhl ever played in this program). Turning into mindless alien killing machines, Tyrone and Vodka began stalking a startled Silvan.

Running to the back alley behind City Hall, Nixon met up with Diane, who had decided that the only way for Elvis to become a better boyfriend was through alien programming, and the unconscious rock star. The beam of the Gray ship took all three away just as Slick, Tom, and Pépe arrived fashionably late. Silvan, being pursued by Nixon's clones, joined the congregation, as did Joey Bagwell (who, long story short, had his flesh eaten by vultures). Realizing that he was about to become mayor, Silvan handed off Silvan Summers Boxing/Shake It Up to the albino squirrels before all three turned tail from the approaching Tyrone and Vodka. Slick, feeling mighty depressed over Elvis' abduction, was busy in wallowing in self-pity until it was too late. Before he knew it, the two green-eyed clones were on him, along with Grom Corbis, Ron the Farmer, and Oliv Gardino. So much for future plans.

Elsewhere, on the alien ship, Elvis gave Nixon, Kissinger, and Diane quite the shock when he went into labor. Even more shocking was the child he gave birth to: A de-aged Doctor Leon.

Hello, hello. The doctor was in.

Watch This Episode!


Banks Lee as Elvis
Greg Janda as S'Larik del Monte (Slick Monty)
Jeff Stebbins as Silvan Summers

Matthew Muhl as Anderson Tyrone, Will Vodka, New Man, Grom Corbis, Ron the Farmer, and Oliv Gardino
Mark Moseley as Joey Bagwell
Mariola Schmid as Diane Buttercup
Chad McCanna as Richard Nixon and Tom
Hyle Russell as Henry Kissinger and Pépe

Special Appearance by
Branden Finney as Doctor Leon

Executive Producers .... Chad McCanna and Hyle Russell
Created by .... Hyle Russell and Chad McCanna
Faculty Advisor .... Phyllis Slocum
Director .... Chad McCanna
Director of Photography .... Jimmy McCoy
Head Writer .... Hyle Russell
Additional Writing .... Chad McCanna
Camera .... Jimmy McCoy and Chad McCanna
Boom Operator .... Brent Barron
Editing and Special Effects .... Chad McCanna
"A Friend at the End" Composed and Performed by .... Eric Lambert
Original Score .... Jeremy Thorn
Special Thanks .... Matt Gibson, Cassie Stanley Janda, Glen's Fair Price, The Evers House, Devon Johannesson, UNT Scheduling Services
Apartment Provided by .... CityParc Apartments

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